I realize that I am preaching to the choir here, for my regular readers. This post is my response to a post I read called “Stop Inviting My Kid to Church: Religionis Not for Children.” I hope that sharing my thoughts will help us become more confident in shining as a light in an increasingly relativistic culture.
Photo CreditThe vibrant hues of sunsets and sunrises, the intricatebeauty of flowers like irises, lilies and orchids, the melody of birds chirping, thecomplex structure of a cell and the total failure of brilliant scientists tocreate “even the most basic chemicals used as building blocks for the largerchemicals of living cells” all attest that nothing is here by accident, butrather by the work of a brilliant and benevolent Creator. [1]
As I sat outside, reading with my children, and marveling atthe sheer glory of the early summer day, it all evidenced to me, as philosopherBlaise Pascal has written, that one has only to look outside in nature tobelieve there must be a Creator. Consideringthe wonder of all living things and how everything fits together so perfectly, itseems absolutely absurd to believe—as many do—that this is all the result offreak of nature, a big bang.
Even my seven-year old son sees holes in evolutionary logic.“What caused a big bang?”, and “How do people get their ideas to make and buildstuff? And how are there ants and bumblebees and hornets and flies?”
Photo Credit This conversation commenced after I told him about anarticle I read this weekend, called “Stop Inviting My Kid to Church: Religion is Not for Children.” In it, the author—Ms Joy FG, an atheist—expresses herangst for people who invite her children to church. She believes that children areeasily impressionable and will believe whatever they are taught, so she aims tostay neutral (or so she says) on the “big beliefs” and not steer her childrentoward any belief, but rather let them arrive at their own beliefs.
She writes: “There are a lot of things I believe in. Love.Family. Honesty. Gravity. Kindness. Nature. Science.”
But where do virtues like love, honesty, and kindnessoriginate? Where does one’s conscience come from? The big bang?
She goes on,
“I understand why these children feel it is imperative to invite Miss N tochurch. It is a fun place where they sing songs, eat a snack and talk about theunderlying fear of what happens after you die. These children love Miss N andeven though they can't quite articulate it in this way, they think we'refailing Miss N and her brother by not taking them to church.Ms JoyFG is sadly mistaken, in my opinion.
This part will be touchy for people who do not believe the same as we do andI respect that; I'll raise my kids and you can raise yours. I do notthink religion is for children. I think that they should be exposed tothe beliefs of all people, and while I will tell my children "this is whatMommy and Daddy believe," I do not expect her to believe the same thing…
“Religion” (although I wouldprefer to use the term faith, as it involvesthe mind and the heart, rather than a weekly ritual) is absolutely forchildren. Here’s why.
If we were made, not by a chance explosion (which just happened to be themost brilliant accident ever) but bya Creator, then wouldn’t it make sense to introduce the children the Creatorhas made to their Creator at an early age? Wouldn’t you want to teach themabout the Creator who created them? Yes, going to church (“religion”) is partof that process, but there’s so much more. And it doesn’t involve a treat-bag“bribe,” as Ms Joy FG states. (But isn’tshe for acts of kindness?).
It’s like this: If I was invited to a famous movie-star’s house for dinner,one of whom I was, and I could invite a friend, I would want you to go with me.Simply because you’re my friend. I care about you, and I want you to meet him,too. I want you in on the experience.
Ms Joy FG writes that there are many “right ways in the world”, but whathappens if my right way clashes with your right way? Whose is wrong? The flawin this logic can be seen in something as simple as streets. In America, theright way to drive is on the right side of the road. In England, you drive onthe left. If you both try to follow your right way in the other’s country, youwill have a head-on collision). People cannot always be right, at the sametime. Absolutes are necessary (although they’re getting much harder to find inculture today).
I am unapologetically a Christian, just as Ms Joy FG is unapologetically anatheist. My right way is Jesus, and yes, I believe there is enough proof fromboth history and written texts to make that an absolute. But I also understandthat many do not believe the same. We can debate ideas, while respecting peopleand treating them kindly.
No matter what we believe, I think we can all agree that Jesus was an actualhistorical figure. And he was quoted as saying, “Let the little children cometo me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such asthese.” (Matthew 19:14).
That’s what we’re doing when we’re taking our children to church, andinviting other children to church. We’re extending an invitation for them tomeet the one we believe created all that is seen and unseen. We want to get toknow Him better and follow His ways. And yes, sadly, not all churches orChristians are great examples. But we don’t throw the baby out with thebathwater.
While Ms Joy FG defends her view that religion is off-limits for childrenbecause we shouldn’t talk with them in absolutes, does her absolutes-are-out-of-styleapproach to child-rearing extend to other beliefs, such as what foods they eatat meals and snacks, what kind of shows they watch, what kinds of behaviors herchildren engage in? Or are setting, and sticking to, absolutes there as parentsok?
Despite her efforts to keep herdaughter from any sort of religion (because she’s too impressionable), she has indeed done what she set out not todo: gained a follower in her atheism, which is—ironically--a religion. “I amvery proud of Miss N,” she writes, “that she tells her friends that she has herown beliefs and their church is not the place for her -- it's like school forpeople who believe in their god, it's not really our place.”
Ms Joy FG says she doesn’t judge us and asks us not to judge her, but yet,her statement about church—“It is a fun place where they sing songs, eat asnack and talk about the underlying fear of what happens after you die”—soundspretty judgemental to me.
What if Ms Joy FG is wrong in her assessment that the invitations aremotivated by fear?
Could it all be motivated by love (and truth)? Everything. The creation we see—nature,like trees, flowers, stars, and people—our beautiful children, friends, family,neighbors; and the things we do, like learning about God, and even, invitingothers to church.
As you go to church, read your Bible, and learn about Jesus, you realize thereis no fear of what happens after death. We’ll all come to know the absolutetruth of what he said in the end. In the meantime, I’m taking my kids tochurch, and we might even invite some kids to come with us…
Although I would not normally quote the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), our state's ACLU director was quoted as saying (paraphrased): when we disagree on issues, we don't silent discussion. We have more discussion. That's what I'm aiming to do with this post.
Sharing With:
Women Living Well
We Are That Family
Raising Homemakers
[1]Institute of Creation Research (http://www.icr.org/creation-cells/)
